Recently I said goodbye to my first ever job which I had since the age of 17. My job was a sales assistant for Marks and Spencer which I did for a year, and then got a promotion to a Team Leader which I did for the last 3 years there. This post won’t be about the job but what it represented to me and what leaving has meant to me. This job has seen me through college, and my first 2 years of uni, in a weird way I grew up there. It has given me the opportunity to save for a home and also contributed to all my holidays, which made all the hours worth it even when I questioned why am I waking up[ at 5am for this.
Now in my final year of uni I decided that I needed to take a higher priority in my degree which meant leaving my job, I was struggling to manage full-time placement hours alongside work and assignments. So I decided the only thing to do would be to leave. I left nearly a month ago and now am coming to terms of what that means in my life. This job for me represented my childhood still, I wasn’t a real adult with a career yet, I wasn’t a uni graduate and it took me a while, in leaving I had to accept that this door was closing, my safety net job was gone. It wasn’t until I was at my leaving do that I realised, the next job I get will be my career, in less than a year I will be fully qualified and will be entering the world of Social Work. My next job no matter what sector of Social Work I go into will be playing massive roles in people’s lives and improving them for the better. Since leaving I have had to come to terms with the fact that this time next year I don’t know where I will be, for the first time in 4 years I don’t have a plan and that scares me. As this year is flashing before me, final year will soon be over and I am not sure I am ready with what comes after graduation. All year we think about how we can’t wait to walk across that stage and pick up your certificate but we don’t all think what happens after that.
For the first time in 4 years I am worried, I haven’t got my safety net job, I haven’t got Student Finance there ready to bail me out and it scares me yet at the same time it’s exciting. As I sit and rewrite my 16 year old CV and turn it into a professional CV I realised that my life will really begin then! By September next year I hope to have my career all set up and working towards my future. But I sometimes can’t help but think am I doing the right thing? Am I just following the norm, get a job, save for a house, buy a house. Is my life meant for more than that, am I meant to just follow this path I have been told is the right thing to do or am I do diverge and look at what life brings? Do I just take a year to “find myself” travelling, do I throw myself into blogging and wait for the payoff, or do I just simply follow the norm? With no clear path for next year I am finding myself questioning everything. I don’t think you will ever know if you chose the right thing but I do think that any decision I do decide to make will be the making of me and I can’t wait to see it through!